Crake had the right idea, but went about his plan all wrong. Like in Biblical times, this world needs a fresh start. “Never in the history of the game has there been such devestation.” Designing a perfect race of humans seems pretty simple to me. Using eugenics, taking people with very high IQ’s and mating them with cloned Sport’s Illustrated Swimsuit models. If you’ve seen the recent issue, its comprised of the most beautiful models from all around the world,  and one could easily produce a master race within a few generations. Keep them isolated and free from trans-fats and tap water, and train them in only the best aspects of culture, martial arts, science and politics. When the master race population becomes sustainable, release them into society and they will quickly become the leaders of the new world order and lets just see what happens when the world is run by really smart super models.

Now that's a Craker!

Seriously, what could be better than a world full of genius swimsuit models? Derek Zoolander once pondered, “Is there more to life than just being really really really good looking?” Maybe? But combining good looks with intelligence is what eugenicists have been trying to do all this time. S lets get on with the program. If we could stay up longer and increase the amount of productivity in an average day we would be set. Working 40 hours a week is just being lazy, why not work 80? That way we could do twice the amount of stuff in half the time. Also, cap the population, the world is getting too crowded and who doesn’t hate waiting in long lines. Come on God, bring on the flood, 2012, or whatever; wipe the slate clean, and hopefully we’ll get this thing right this time.

-Robert Jeter

~ by Robert Jeter on March 21, 2010.

2 Responses to “Crakers”

  1. Wow, you make some bold statements. So if you cross a swimsuit model with a genius, are you sure you’ll always get a genius swimsuit model? And who’s to say genius is better than intelligent hard worker?

  2. Okay, maybe not a genius, but at least someone who can understand satire.

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